Becoming my Best
I always pictured myself as someone who is able to openly care for others, be able to freely give my time and efforts as needed when it comes to people’s needs, and a father who is committed to his wife in a deep and loving relationship. Taking the time to dream this past semester has really helped me hone in on the person I want to become as I look at my future.
Caring for Others
As I have some to learn, I am not always the best when it comes to maintaining intimate friendships. I have always had a difficult time reaching out to people consistently whether that is through a text message, a call, or even something as simple as an email. At the same time, I have always wanted to care for people in a multiplicity of ways. There has been this tension in my life for an extended period of time now. which has made life difficult. One day, I would love to be able to reach out to a handful of good friends and be able to care for them. I see myself being at coffee shops, diners, restaurants, houses, and parks walking, talking, and praying over one another’s lives to allow for a deeper, caring, thoughtful relationship that both brings glory to God and brings healing and depth.
Free Time and Energy
In order to care for people, I need to have time and energy to do that. Currently with the way m schedule is, it has been hard to incorporate some necessary rhythms in my life. I long for the days to be consistently in the gym to help keep a healthy lifestyle so I do not stumble into family medical issues. I dream vividly of the days I can have a consistent schedule. School has been difficult for me in maintaining that level of consistency while also doing my best to invest in the relationships surrounding me. Also knowing that I tend to acquire tasks and responsibilities in my life that are not necessary for me to do all the time. I one day look forward to having more free time and less responsibilities as I learn the difference between the tasks and responsibilities I need to take on in my life and those that I do not need to incorporate. I desire to be in a place where I can have time to spend with my future wife (discussed in the next section), run around and play with my children (also discussed in the next section), be free to take trips that will bring me life and experience the place that I will be living and its surrounding areas, all while having the capacity to stay energized in the process.
Being a Father
This last vision I have is a little hard to articulate accurately without sounding desperate, needy, or longing in an unhealthy manner. However, that does not change the fact that I desire to be in a loving, caring, intimate relationship with someone in the future and raising children of my own.. I have a desire to be in a relationship that does its best to mirror the relationship that Christ is suppose to have with the church (Ephesians 5). There has never been a better example of what it takes to love the church than of Jesus and I believe that he clearly shows how to best love others in the Bible through his actions and his words. This love that has been displayed through God is one I want to model one day not only with my future wife, but also with my future children. The thought of being called “daddy” or “dad” or any other iteration of the expression for father brings joy to my heart.